never-stop-dreaming-red-partsWith the dastardly Blogger’s Block behind me (returned to its shadows, no doubt, to await the next the innocent blogger to skip merrily by), I come to you this morning with an admission of guilt…

I took yesterday off.

*the world gasps*

*a drama queen in the second row faints*

For the first time since January, I didn’t do a lick of writing beyond the blog. Now, there have been plenty of days where I haven’t managed to write a word, but I’ve always tried or at least worked on the plot or researched or… well, you get the picture.

Yesterday? Nada. Not a darn thing did I do toward my writing career.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be quite so alarming if I didn’t have a July 1 deadline peering at me over the next hilltop. But sometimes health takes precedence over storytelling.

*section 13B storms out of the auditorium, mortally offended*

As I mentioned a few days ago, I will be seeing a new doctor this afternoon. While my panic disorder is on an even keel right now, I figured it was the perfect time to see if there wasn’t something more I could do to make my life a little bit more “normal.”

“Normal,” I do realize, is a construct that exists nowhere but in each of our own imaginations.

There is no “normal” and the world is a far better place because of it.

However…

A part of me (a silly, silly, childish speck of me) still yearns for it. Just for a touch of it, a glancing blow of the ordinary, perhaps just to remind me how extraordinary being extraordinary truly is… (That last bit right there? That would be my latent although often chatty self-pride kicking in. *lol*)

So, I decided to take yesterday off and just breathe for a few hours to help me prepare for today.

Selfish?

But I’m extraordinary, what else would you expect?

*chuckles*

Until tomorrow…

Chloe

Acclaimed author of 17 novels (my dogs and mother adore me), World traveler (I’ve felt the Sahara Desert between my toes… still gobsmacked over the stars in the Sahara) And survivor (of three dirty-fighting gremlins named Anxiety, Panic and OCD)… My name is Chloe Stowe. Hello. If you’ve found your way here, you’ve most likely arrived on the coattails of my blog, The Words and Madness of Chloe Stowe. Started in 2012, my daily rantings now number in the thousands. Ranging from humorous to moody, poignant to absurd, these tiny tidbits of thought began as a way to get my name “out there.” It has long since morphed into an effort just to “be there” for anybody out there struggling with words or madness, like me. Quick biographical sketch of me? Nerd turned nut at nineteen. In my sophomore year at Auburn University, I was taken out at the knees by severe panic attacks. Chronic anxiety soon joined the dogpile, followed shortly by OCD tendencies. Oh, it was ugly. I eventually had to quit school and soon quit life, as well. I spent a good chunk of my 20’s not able to leave my room. Twenty years later, it’s still can get ugly in my head. Thanks to meds and doctors, however, I am able to lead a better life, now. I still can’t work outside the house, but I can live and smile and write. So, here I am. Broken, but stubbornly present. I hope my voice proves company to someone lonely out there. Thanks for reading! Chloe Stowe

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