As Thine Enemies Amass

Nearly lost my finger to a head of cabbage yesterday.

Apparently, I and mandoline-like things do not get along. Who knew?

I should have, I suppose.

I am, after all, disagreeable to all sorts of things in this world. Why should I be surprised that a guillotine-esque kitchen slicer holds me in contempt?

I can’t imagine what other household appliances or vegetables have it in for me.

Ah, Paranoia! I’ve been saving a place for you at my table.

Until tomorrow…


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